I DON'T WANNA LIVE WITH YOU.

FIRST OF ALL,IF MY SISTER AMOI OR PN.AZNAH IS READING THIS.THIS POST IS MADE SPECIALLY FOR BOTH OF YOU.

how old am i?owh...im 24,and propably gt to celebrate my next birthday as 25 years old.the question is..WHY I CAN'T LIVE ON MY OWN????

please la Pn.Aznah..im not one of your sons yang nak duduk baawah ketiak ibu jek..and frankly speaking..saya amat-amatlah tidak selesa tinggal dengan orang yang dah berkahwin.

yes,i know that she is my sister and he is my bro-in-law..tapi..aduh..gila...GILAAAA punya xslesa.nak buat apa2 pun xboleh.dude,whats the point of living in your home bt can't even feel confortable in it?you tell me now.

ibu cakap kalau kami tinggal sorang2 nanti kami jadi setan..ppffftt....*i keep my mouth shut*..i know what is right and what is wrong la..

"what is right and what is wrong?"

kami xde la jugak cakap yang kami akan jadik baek 100%..tu memang penipu tahap semesta alam la tu kan...

but what im trying to say is...please,put your faith in me as your daughter,believe me so that i can start to love you...again.

Mari Merapu

okay,this post is about random things coz i suddenly feels like writing or updating my blog although i actually don't know what to write..

hurm,lets see....

right now im in my bedroom,sitting on the floor indian style with my blue smiley t-shirt and blue pink short.my memon a.k.a teddy bear is lying beside me and my itunes is playing TVXQ-Bolero right now.....

whatelse....

im tweeting with my friends:Anne in Manila,Amal in Hong Kong,Pridiv in Seoul,Aini in Taiping and the most important person is my Soulmate, Miss Ruzanna in Shah Alam....

more...

owh,looks like its going to rain any minute...although i dont like TVXQ,but i cant say no to Bolero..this song got something that makes me wanna cry.its like giving me a hope for something..i dont know,it just my feelings i think..

OHMAIGAWD!!!!

how can i forget the most important thing right now??? people,my hubby just color his hair to orang+blonde and he looks SMOKIN' HAWT!!! well,even if he color his hair to green or purple,he will still look hawt..kyaa~~!!!

look at that!!! aint he smokin' there??haa~~~ hubby,you have no idea how much im loving you right now..*faint*...

*still fainting*...

okay,im back guys!!fuuhh~~ who knows a guy in blonde Johnny Bravo hair can make your ovaries explode in the day..haha... O_O,wait a minute,im fasting dude,those that mean...NO!!uuggghhh......

you owe me Choi SeungHyun... *pout*..

i still cant watch tv coz my mummy is conquering it right now..i wanna watch MuBank but she cant stop watching her indonesian drama...sinetron...blueerghh....

opps,cancel that guys,I WATCHED MUBANK JUST NOW!!!hahahaha....wel,at first,my mum is conquering the channel but then she got some urgent stuff to take care so she leave the house right when Mubank start..

i starting to like Infinite-Be Mine and Hyuna ft Zico-Just Follow.i think Zico and the rest of Block B got a huge potential to be one of the best hip hop group.while other boygroup come out with cute and masculine type,they show their talent and passion in hip hop and i can say they are the 1st rookie that catch my attention in less than 10 minutes.i actually have this habit where i hate anything that is new like new group,new food,new person,just anything new because im afraid that new things cant give me the satisfaction that i need.but Block B just crush that taboo out of me and im sooooooooooo in hook with them.im proud to say that im a BBC now..^__^..

but there is 1 performance that i wanted to watch s bad,and that is MBLAQ!!! i just cant stop myself from screaming right from the begining till the end and the outfit..OMG,THEY WEAR YELLOW!!!AAHHHH!!!! *scream*.... FYI,im addic to yellow and animal print and guess what?G.O WEAR A YELLOW LEOPARD PRINT COAT!!!!! *drooling+running around the house+pulling my hair out*.......god,what have i done to receive this present today???

breath in,breath out......

luckily it just me and princess at home,or else my family will think that im already crazy.well,my mummy knew that i have this HUGE crush on Mr.Choi SeungHyun a.k.a TOP.with 3 huge poster of Big Bang in my room,my family already knew the name of each member..hahaha..feel the power of VIP! i also got this huge poster of 2NE1 on the wall

and my baby bro love Dara so the very much (he said that he will do anything to get her..ppffttt..keep on dreaming baby bro..) and my 2nd brother said that he like CL,said she got this fierce charisma in her.so everytime he came inside the room,he'll take a look at CL and smile a bit then head out.oh,a little note here,i have 6 brothers and 3 sisters and i share my room with my 2nd brother..well,we're not sleeping in the same room,he just use my room to store all his clothes.thats all.

huurrrmmm.....

i think that is all that i want to write...just some random stuff....and 1 more thing,I MISS YOU BABY BRO!!!!...i haven't seen him since last month and im missing him like crazy now...come back home babe,i promise to be a good sister.cant wait to go out on a date with you this hari raya ^_________^...

well,thats it.end of my story and i leave you guys with one of the hawty from YG Ent,but he's taken ladies..im so sorry but i love you~~~ Seven-Better Together.

Ciao~~~.......they call me se-se-se-seven,non naye he-he-he-heaven...

AAARRRGGHHHH!!! KIM.JAE.JOONG!!!!!!!

(p/s:this is the 2nd version of i hate you Kim Jaejoong)...

WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU DONE TO ME YOU....UUGGGHH!!!! im not gonna go slow or cute or whatever right now,what i want to know is WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU DONE TO MY BRAIN!!!!!!!

why am i so alert on any news about you? why am i jumping like a crazy fan girl when i heard that SBS gonna air "Protect The Boss" in Malaysia? why did I check on your CD/DVD everytime i went into music store? and WHY IN THE HELL DID I SAVE YOUR PICTURES IN MY LAPPY??

UUGGHHHHH!!!!! AAARRGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!

*breath in,breath out*...seriously dude..what have you done to me??? i can't put you in my hate list nor my bias list. its like you have this special spot in my heart and my brain that even im the real owner of my body cant figure it out.

i told you dude,this girl *ponting at myself* will never,ever,ever,ever (never say never...) ehem...sorry about that...i mean,NO,I WILL NEVER BE YOUR FAN and i had stated my reasons before....but i can't figure what is THIS????

let me tell you something crazy:

before:

1. never listen to TVXQ songs.

2. never bother anything about them.

3. never have any interest on them.

4.the only person i know back at the time is Junsu and thats coz he sang a duet "Timeless".

5. most of my friends are cassie and they always gossiping about you,yes, im talking about you Mr.Kim Jaejoong.."owh,jae oppa looks cute today" "oppa in white hair is awesome!" "oppa new song is sooooo into me" etc....and what did i do when they're fangirling about you? "jaejoong?hurm......don't care and don't give a damn.all i need is my TOP.kkyyyaa~~~!! (p/s:this is a real conversation people)....

after:

1. i download almost all of your japanese songs (and my favourite is Bolero,the music is......ehem..)

2.everything about JYJ/TVXQ is important for me.

3.my ultimate bias??urrmmm Kim Jaejoong?? but i still think Yunho is the most handsome among all of 'em...oh yeah baybeh~~~

4.now i know all of you,i can even spot who is who just by hearing to their voice.

5. i have a colleague named JOJO,i repeat,JOJO...but everytime im in a hurry,i'll call her JAEJOONG.....

6. uuhhh,TOP Hubby...i Love you,i do,sooooo much.it just that,umm... your bestie,yeah your F4.you know the guy name jaejoong??.umm...sss..how do i say this..i kinda like him??NO,not like Like,just like LIKE...you know what i mean right sweety??? you know that i will never cheat on you right?????

*facepalm*...im so bad at cheating,and this is the reason why my ex left me...

.....what ever dude,i'm happy now. i dont need you anymore,owh,before i forgot,you know 2NE1 latest single?no,not UGLY,that HATE YOU song??yeah..guess what?i dedicate that to you..hope you're happy with it ^________^...

Demmit woman,FOCUS!!! you are talking about KIM JAEJOONG right now,not some crazy guy who left you for his prettier bestie.."i think i'm ugly,and nobody wants to love me.just like her i wanna be pretty,i wanna be pretty.don't lie to my face coz i know im UGLY!!"

*sigh*.....my short-term memory+super duper distracted mind is getting worse day by day.nan eojjoragoooo~~~~~~~ i mean i start to eat more vegie (cucumber only),but still i try,right?and i double up my exercise routine..but it show no effect...TT^TT.......what else should i do??

argghh!! Bitch,you're talking about how much u hate Jaejoong right now,not about your crazy disease or even about that guy...F.O.C.U.S!!! can you read?yeah?so DO IT WOMAN!!

hahha..people,people~~ dont be scared.this is me,i sometimes need to scold myself and.........AARRGHHHHH *slap cheek*....

IM HERE TO STATE ABOUT WHAT KIM JAEJOONG HAD DONE TO MY LIFE.

.... and i even put your pic as my NinJoon a.k.a my phone wallie,upload your song into my MP4,change my chrome theme to your pic. and when my Cassie friends saw that they were like:

"babe,this ain't TOP ya know?"

"i know"

"do you have any idea who this smexyhawtcutey guy is?"

"yup"

"who?"

"Kim Jaejoong"

"and why do you have all of these in your phone and MP4?"

"............................"

people,thats when i feels like THIS IS WRONG!! i don't even have any answers for that.yeah,why did i save your pic?why did i listen to your song?

let me tell you guys 1 fact.my ex is actually a cassie and he used to sing "Somebody To Love" to me before...at first i think that is cute (actually my ex is really a cutey+plus he got this cute haircut..okay,CUT!).....then my bestie (who is a Hottest) start to liking the same song and sang to me all the time.althought my ex is cassie,i still don't have any interest on them.

UNTIL..dudung!!! 2 days after i broke up,i saw this song again playing on the tv and i feel like smashing the screen but i stop myself..and i dunno why.

and then,i saw this 1 cute post of jae on tumblr where he play with a puppy,

and i feels like.."awh~~ ain't that cute?" and i dunno why but i start to search everything about him,pictures,songs,videos,fanfics..you name it,i search through it.

and i feels like.."woah~~ this is too much,i start to feel something about him" but ignore it,coz i know that it just a simple crush and i'll get over it for the next 2 or 3 weeks.huh,that whats i think its gonna be at first..but now.EVERYTHING IS ABOUT HIM!

guys,i almost bought a huge poster of Kim Jaejoong last saturday but i quickly pull my bestie out of that shop.i mean...really bitch?you're gonna buy Jaejoong's poster?for what?you ain't his fan,you don't even like his songs..so why do you want to buy his poster?are you crazy?????

im about to lose my mind,

you've been gone for so long,

i'm running out of time,

i need a doctor,

call me a doctor,

to bring me back to life....

yeah,i need a specialist to tell me what kind of disease im in right now.can't i have a disease where i can be crazy over my TOP hubby?or maybe G.O?or Lee Joon? or Jay Park??yeah.....why is it must be Kim Jaejoong?? not Park Jaebom???wae??WAE??????

*sigh*.....i'm done and i dont even have an answer for that. you are making me crazy mister and i dont know how long it'll be.maybe a year,maybe 10 years?? can i request something from you?can you like have a girlfriend right now so that i won't be crazy over you anymore??owhhh..you can't do that coz cassie totally gonna....uummm.....

I KNOW WHAT SHOULD I DO!! get myself a new boyfriend who is not a cassie and not a tall guy with a golden hair and..........i cant do that....*sigh*

aarrrggghhhh!!!! whatever dude,just do whatever you want,its not even my business.....but.......

TOP HUBBY!!!!! I NEED YOU NOW SWEETHEART!!!!!!! GET THIS GUY OUT OF MY HEAD!!!

I HATE YOU KIM JAEJOONG~!!!!

okay,first of all,let me remind you guys that this is a fangirl post..(same as half of my other entry). its nothing actually it just that i really need to write this down since i dont know why..hahha....so you guys can easily skip this post if you cant handle my crazy fangirl life..(which is half of my life)..arahsso...??


Allow me to say this again....*cough* *cough*..I HATE YOU KIM JAEJOONG!!!!!!!!!!

what have you done to me?i mean,im not a cassie..okay,i might like 2VXQ, but theres only Yunho and Changmin there..no Jaejoong.but what have you done to me???uuggghh....i totally hate this feeling,the feeling of liking something that you have been hating since the first day..(same as what happen to G.O..*sigh*..)

you're song??sorry to say but....it just dont suit my taste.i mean,really??with that kind of song??sorry,i aint no music expert to tell you what kind of song or music you should make but seriously dude..that just not my type.

regardless of what i said at the above.but i want to say is,i dont like Kim Jaejoong from JYJ/TVXQ.i want to see the real Kim Jaejoong..the real man behind all those camera,money and fame.i feels like theres something more interesting than the super fabulous Jaejoong that i saw in the television. crazy me??haha..blame it on all the fanfics that i read about him.okay..i think i just told you guys my biggest secret...*sigh*..whattodo..yes guys,almost 70% of the fanfics that i read and subscribe are all about Jaejoong..haha..*awkward laugh*..er.....

okay,move on..what i really want to state here is......what,you,Mr.Kim Jaejoong had done to me???im starting to stalk your twitter..(but no,i dont follow him and dont ask me why).i follow like 10 tumblr about you and got tense everytime i saw I LOVE YOU performance.okay,let me state this again.I,ME aint a Cassie.im just aVIP,BLACKJACK,A+ and JAYWALKERZ...do you see any Cassie there?no right??so........WHY IN THE HELL I FEELS LIKE SMASHING THE SCREEN WHEN I SEE YOU IN THAT PERFORMANCE???????......*breath in,breath out*.....okay,im good now...

so tell me sir....what is happening to me???..owh you're saying that im slowly turning myself in to a Cassie??nope,sorry dude..as much as i want to..it aint gonna happen because i really really cant handle your type of music and as a true fan you must love all of it right?so theres a no-no for me.okay..i might like you,but the real you...not the performer/actor/singer Kim Jaejoong.but the guy named Kim Jaejoong that live in South Korea and produce music......(and the guy that is my hubby's BFF)..hahaa....

yeah..i wish we can meet some day..(although i know that will never ever happen)..okay,just imagine it okay..i want to just sit down and talk to you in a coffee shop..no-no,its too public..let say,we just hang out at your place or my place,have some pizza while watch a movie or just have some talk....sound too girly to you??actually me too..hahaha...okay,okay..we'll make it this way,you hang out at my place and accompany while i play with my games.i really need someone to help me finish my Tekken 6,i dont like playing it with the computer..i need someone to play with so that i can feels like punching that person..muahaha...mean enough??hohoho.....i always beat my baby brother back then but now that he is busy with his study,he wont bother to play with his cute sister anymore..TT^TT...i hate you baby bro....we always play Tekken,GTA,Guitar Hero and some more games together..but now that you need to focus on your study,you just left me alone since i have no one to play with,i just leave the ps3 like that and once in a while swept the dust...TT^TT...i miss playing games with you baby bro..come back to me,its okay babe,since you are busy struggling with your study,just dont you go and have a girlfriend behind me coz you now why??im totally gonna rip the hair out of her head if she is the one that separate you and me.muahahaha...im such a bad sister...hoho....me the drama queen.......WAIT?why am i suddenly talking about my baby bro?aint im suppose to talk about Kim Jaejoong???? (p/s:i have a serious short-term memory and i can get distracted very easily...guess i just did it again..*sigh*..)

back to our MAIN TOPIC...(gosh,i need to focus this time,no more distraction...)LOL...its like im taking exam or what??kekeke...wait...what are talking about just now??....awh..Kim Jaejoong!!!!..Duh~~~ *hit head*..
im good now..ok..er....actually i totally forgot what i want to talk about... @_@.... *flying crow*..

okay,let me say this straight...i admit that jaejoong is quiet handsome



(but not as handsome as my hubby TOP..hoho)



...and totally cute..



( but Lee Joon is cuter than him..muahaha..)..



and im sure thousands of girl out there willing to throw themselves on him..the point is,will he choose them??hahaha....im pretty sure that what i feel right now is just a temporary crush,it'll last for about 2 or 3 weeks then everything will be back to normal and i wont have any feelings toward jaejoong annymore...(thank god~~!!!).... but still i want to write this in my blog so that when im bored or whatever,i can look back and said to myself.."crazy bitch,you even fall for Kim Jaejoong??"..hahaha...

woah...i cant believe i write this long for this entry,i thought it gonna be just 2 or 3 lines..well,whatever it is..yes,im currently stalking Kim Jaejoong but no,i aint his fan and no,i will never be one...enough said..oh,by the way,nice tats you got there..

sweet~~~~

well,good luck for your career,life and love.i wish all the best for you,keep making good music to your fans.oh 1 more thing,i watched Sunao Ni Narenakute and i gotta admit,you act pretty good in it..*thumbs up*..ermm..i got nothing else to write actually..i cant write "Jaejoong Oppa,saranghae~~!!"..NO,i cant write that coz i dont love you..muahaha...yeah,you gotta deal with my evil side.what can i say is,Cassie love you and...er.....Good Luck!! ^__^.....

oh,1 last thing!!..if we ever meet,the first thing that i'll do to you is steal Jiji..muahaha...and i cant lie but to say I Love JIJI ssooooo much...it looks totally like my cat Fox (but it pass away already..TT^TT)....yeah..im just gonna steal jiji and take care of it as my Fox..^_^...


yup..thats it...nothing else from me..........bye??..em,,yeah....annyeong,goodbye,adios~~
*off to study for my last paper,International Maritime of Political and Economic*....

Random Post

holla people~~

okay,i was supposed to write entry about Jay Park's comeback and Teachers Day,but im stuck right now coz im in the middle of final exam and i need to dig my brain out for my fanfic..(ugghh...need to continue with chapter 4 later).

so,as you notice,i've changed my header to G.O a.k.a Jung ByungHee because i *cough* kinda in *cough* love with him at this moment *cough*..........sorry TOP hubby =_='

okay move one,...*sigh*...now G.O rank 4 in my bias list...me the playgirl...nan eojjoragooooooo~~~

i mean,look at him,his handsome,cute,got angelic voice,playful and pervert with a special folder in his computer just for *cough* porn * cough*......hey,its normal la for a guy....its okay if he's a pervert because that just make us a perfect couple..hohoo...

kyyaaa~~ Abang G.O......saya cinta sama kamu~~~~LOL.....

(tau dek laki ak neh,mau tido dekat depan tv la selama-lamanya TT^TT)...

I,MY,ME,MINE

i need someone or a place to let out every single thing i have in my heart and mind right now without being judge by the other person.

frankly speaking,i dont think my bff is the one for me right now because.......we are so drift apart lately.okay,i didn't blame her,no i'm not,it just that,things start to change.

i'm sick of being undercover all the time,i want to come out as the real me but i cant because i need to take care of the people around me.sometimes they get mock or being scolded just because i'm being myself.well,imagine if i turn to the "real" me,can you think how bad the society will mock them?

but seriously,the me that you guys know right now is no the full "me".curious?haha..don't be,what am saying is can you guys really handle the real me?

i have my own world,my own music,my own loves and my own ways of showing to the world that this is me.but i can't because of my family's background..ppfffhh..pathethic.

sometimes i wonder,why cant people be as open as i am?why do you need to judge people?are you that perfect?just because they are acting as their ownself which is totally different from you then you judge them?saying that they are crazy?pffhh....im sick and tired of all of it.tired of everything,tired of hiding behind this mask.

no matter how i look from the outside,but deep inside,im still the same person,still the little girl that loves her father so much,still the daughter who will do anything for her family,still the big sister who treasure her baby brother and baby girl more than anything else.still the little sister that respect the elders.still the friends that will lend you her shoulder...

i didn't ask for anything else,just i want you guys to accept me and dont judge me for being myself and not the kind of person that you want me to be.and to my bff,if you're reading this post,i want you THANK YOU for all the things that you have done to me,i may never repay you,and when i told you that I LOVE YOU,believe me,i love you with all my heart and soul.

to my friends,thanks for being with me all the time.my family,you guys are the one that responsible in creating the real me..

to my lovely bf,thanks for accepting me of who i am,you've taught me a lot and dont worry baby,i love you effin' much too..and last but not lease,my scandal gf.....saranghaeyo,sarangaheyo~~~~just DGAF on what others say about us,they're just jealous of us...well,HATER GONNA HATE...*merong*..

nggeee~~~

1. Where did you take your profile picture?

got it from google..noway i can meet the real person.

2. What exactly are you wearing right now?

pink spaghetti strap,hawaiian shorts and grey hoodie.

3. What is your current problem?

FINAL EXAM!!!!!

4. What makes you happy most?

K-Pop...my life..

5. What's the name of the song that you're listening to?

You Wouldn't Answer My Calls-2AM

6. Any celeb you would marry?

Greg Uttsada Panichkul,Choi Seunghyun,Lee Changsun,Pataradana Setsuwan,Jay Park,Zizan raja lawak & Azlan Iskandar..is tat too much??LOL..

7. Name someone with the same birthday as you?

Mode (ex-ruffedge),Sungmin (suju)

8. Ever sang in front of a large audience?

yup..several times..

9. Has anyone ever said you look like a celebrity?

sadly,yeah..they said i looks like betty la fea and the nick stuck wit me until now.but still i love it..^_^

10. Do you still watch kiddie movies or kiddie TV shows?

of course,south park,the simpsons,sesame street,lilo&stitches..

11. Do you speak any language?

kinda...malay,eng,mandarin,cantonese and lil' bit of korean&japanese..i can only read arabic..

12. Do you ever watch MTV?

imma MTV Generation.

Chapter1 :

1. Middle name

NOR

2. Nickname (s) (from friends)

bett,kembar,yunk

3. Current location

on a chair,inside a room at a place call kacheez hill..

4. Eye color:

dark brown

5. Do you get along well with your parents?

daddy=YES, Pn.Aznah=NO.

6. Best friends?

all of my friends..

Chapter 2: Favorites

1. Ice cream

anything,as long as it's vanilla.

2. Shampoo / conditioner

dove,herbal essence,rejoice..

3. Person

BIG BANG&MBLAQ.

4.Favourite item

my channie,matsujun,ninjoon..

Chapter 3: Do You ...

1. Dance in the shower?

sometimes..depends on my mood..

2. Call people back?

depends..if it's important..

3. Believe in love?

awh~~~NO.

4. Any mental health issues?

few years before..i think i'm okay now.

Chapter 4: Have You.

1. Broken a bone?

not broke la,just some crack.

2. Sprained anything?

yup,latest is my right ankle..like 2 months ago.

3. Had physical therapy?

at home,when i cracked my right thigh

4.Stitches?

on my head,but i think it's gone now.

5. Taken painkillers?

no...hate it.

HOW I END MY SENTENCES

1. I love

Mr.Choi Seunghyun with all my heart and soul.

2. I don't understand

why some peoples hate me??

3. When I wake up in the morning

i'll be imagining that i woke up next to my hubby..ngggee~~

4. Life is full of

bullshit.

5. I get annoyed very quickly when

people keeps on snatching my hubbies from me.THEY ARE MINE!!!!!

6. Parties are

my life!!!

7. Female Dogs are

bitch..

8. Cats are

half of my life.

9. Tomorrow is

another battle.

10. I have a low tolerance for

pfffhh....A LOT!!!

11. If I had a million dollars

i will go to oversea immediately!!!