Dh lama rase nya xtls blog.bkn xde cite,blambak,tapi masa yg xde.terlalu byk yg blaku dlm idop kami,esp tym cuti ari 2.spanjang 2 bln stay kat umah,i faced new things av single day.actly,i don't like talk abt it,it juz make me sad and hurting me inside.tapi,slagi kami xluahkn,slagi 2 la prob ni akn stay in my heart n in d end,akan bernanah..so i better let it go slagi kami mampu.
FYI,my mom sakit.she start with high fever,n in d same tym dia kena menopause.so emosi dia mang teramat2 la sng t'ganggu.bila dia dh sembuh dari demam,character n prangai dia b'ubah 100%.dia jadi makin paranoid,bnd2 kecik pn dia akan risau.dia jd was2 on av single things.dia akan repeat d same thing sampai la dia rs puas hati.dia akan act mcm bdk2,n dia akan tny benda yg simple n stupid kat kita cam klu dia rs lpr,dia akn tny kami dulu,"bley ke ibu mkn?",n klu nk mandi plak,dia akan tny"ibu rs cam nk mnd la,bley x ibu mnd?",(i'm a short temper person,n sume Q 2 was soooo annoying.).lg 1 prangai dia,dia nk sume anak2 dia be with her 24/7.ofcoz la xleh,msng2 ad keja sndr.n penah dia wat prgi,dia halang awin ngan mat dari g keja.klu kami gtaw mesti korg xcaya,but dia penah cekak leher awin so that awin xleh g keja,sian akak ak.dh lm dh ibu skt,agk2 dlm 8 bulan la(msk hari nie),so 4 d 1st 6 mnth yg dia skt 2,my bro n sis yg jg dia.n bila kami stat cuti sem lps,i rushed home once i finish my last final paper.lg 1 prgi ibu neh,bila dtng "angin" dia,dia akn jd hyperactive.ms 2 dia mang kuat ngalah kn masked rider.korg bygkn,ibu kami 2 kurus je(cam sharifah amani)tapi dia bley genggam tgn kami sampai lebam,n klu kami peluk dia,dia bley bolos,imagine that.n bila energy dia dh abis or klu dia dh mkn ubt,baru la dia sedar n bdn dia akn lemah gile.so klu kami makin hamun dia tym dia hyper 2 pn dia xkn sedar,dia jd cam terminator taw,bdn dia b'grk n dia sgt kuat,but not her feelings.lg 1 yg b'ubah is,dia jd syng kat duit,syng yg gila2 pny.xyah ckp la bape kali kami gaduh ngan dia.n penah smpi 1 thp where kami mang dh geram thp cromok,kami pukul dia.tapi tuhan je la yg taw how much i regret abt it.kami taw kami byk sgt dosa ngan ibu.bkn kami xpenah nk cuba syng kat ibu,i tried,but still,i can't.i can't suddenly love someone who i hate since i'm a little kid.
kami xtaw dimanakah posisi kami in ur heart,or maybe i never exist.people said tat a baby will choose his or her parents before she or he was born.if this is true,i will qstn myself back then,"y did i choose u?"ntah lah ibu,i'm not like ur other daughters or sons,all of them r so clever,but not me,klu nk cite hal dulu,1001 mlm pn xabis.i bet,ibu mesti penah nyesal 4 having me dulu kn?i don't know,i'm juz guessing.
di kesempatan ni,slagi kami masih mampu meluahkan prasaan kami,i juz wanna say that i'm so sorry atas sgala yg pernah kami buat kat ibu,either kami sedar or not.halalkan makan minum kami,tnx 4 sudi melahirkan kan kami.kami pernah berjanji 1 masa dulu yg kami xkn nangis dah slps ayah m'nggal.but i break d promise masa cuti hari 2,i cry 4 u,i don't know y,kami cuba tahan,but i can't.klu ibu benci lagi kami after what i had done 2 u,go ahead.i understand,i'll try 2 keep myself away from u as long as i can.cuma jgn la ibu benci dkt ain,she's my baby sister,n i love her with all my heart.again,kami mntk maaf ngan ibu.klu kami xsmpt nk jmp ibu,atleast i've mention it here.lastly,thank you.
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