TO MY ANGEL.......

BOB CARLISLE-BUTTERFLY KISSES

There's two things I know for sure:
She was sent here from heaven and she's
daddy's little girl.
As I drop to my knees by her bed at night
She talks to Jesus and I close my eyes and
I thank god for all the joy in my life
Oh, but most of all
For butterfly kisses after bedtime prayer;
sticking little white flowers all up in her
hair; "Walk beside the pony, Daddy, it's my first ride."
"I know the cake looks funny, Daddy, but I sure tried."
In all that I've done wrong I know I must
have done something right to deserve a hug
every morning and butterfly kisses at night.

Sweet 16 today
She's looking like her mama a little more everyday
One part woman, the other part girl.
To perfume and make-up from ribbons and curls
Trying her wings out in a great big world.

But I remember
Butterfly kisses after bedtime prayer; sticking
little white flowers all up in her hair.
"You know how much I love you, Daddy, But if you
don't mind I'm only gonna kiss you on the cheek this time."
With all that I've done wrong I must have done
something right to deserve her love every morning
and butterfly kisses at night.

All the precious time
Like the wind, the years go by.
Precious butterfly.
Spread your wings and fly.

She'll change her name today.
She'll make a promise and I'll give her away.
Standing in the bride-room just staring at her.
She asked me what I'm thinking and I said "I'm not
sure-I just feel like I'm losing my baby girl."
She leaned over...gave me butterfly kisses with her mama there,
Sticking little white flowers all up in her hair
"Walk my down the aisle, Daddy-it's just about time."
"Does my wedding gown look pretty, Daddy? Daddy, don't cry!"

Oh, with all that I've done wrong I must have
done something right.
To deserve your love every morning and butterfly
kisses-I couldn't ask God for more, man this is what love is.

I know I gotta let her go, but I'll always remember
every hug in the morning and butterfly kisses.

owh...only god knows how much i'm missing my daddy..i dream about him every night and i think about him 24/7.its 3 years already..but i never forget him.how can't i forget My Angel,My Everything???no one can ever love me the same as you do.you never gave up on me,coz you know me more than i know myself.how much i wish i can hug you that day..i've shouldn't leave you there.i leave every single thing that remind me of you.i gave up eating chocolate coz that is one of the most memorable stuff that remind me of you.and i can;t eat it coz i'll be sad i do....Daddy,i just want you to know that you're my everything,my angle,my knight,my life...........I LOVE YOU DADDY...

what cud it be..???

i donno y,but l8ly i've been havin' bad dream,i dream tat my mom is sick (again), my sis became handicapped, n we only have RM 22.70 in our bank account.i dunno maybe it's a sign or juz coz i'm too tired.i can't describe how tired i m.kerja x putus2,lps 1-1.bek fizikal o mental,2-2 penat.think of takin' a br8,but then i'll b thinkin' abt my work all dy long. *sigh*........ah~~~~~ i want Baskin Robbins~~~
bila kita dh penat cam nie, fosho kita akn miss sum1,for me,i miss my dad and nuhar.NUHAR,i'm so sorry 2 tell u diz,i really can't let u go, now matter wat happen, ur still d one tat i want.i don't care abt wat others will say,even my sister had start 2 accept me 4 who i m.ain't tat a good thing? i really want u 2 come back,let me hear ur voice.......

let me hear your voice,

if we become honest surely,

we'll b able 2 understand each other,

please open ur heart,

let me hear your voice,

the path we have come is,for us, deffinetly,

an important step 2 d future,

let me hear your voice,

if we become more kind,

we'll be able to love each other,

don't avert your eyes,

let's get over those entwined anxieties and loneliness,

the feeling of this moment become our bond...

Big Bang- Koe Wo Kikasete

i really want to hear ur voice again............... 4 daddy,u'll always b my 1 n only,there's no 1 tat i cn compare u to.

and now,i have 2 prepare 4 my final n do preperation b4 goin' 2 taiwan.ha~~~~~~

lurve u daddy....

(again, i rite a post abt nuhar,actly i want 2 write abt how tired i m,ntah camne bley tkluar nm nuhar plak,gomenneh!!)

reminisence over u..

ah.....it's that day again.the day that i wish it will nvr come back my life.i wish d wrld cld juz stop rite b4 it hit diz dy.bt i don't have any pwr 2 do tat.diz iz one of d dy tat m8 ma hrt ache so much.......



07 september 1946.....



ni la trkh kramat dimana sorg bayi b'nama abdul rahman dilahirkan.sjk kecik lg ayh dh dilatih utk hidop berdikari,bkn sbb kesempitan idop.tp keadaan Malaya wk2 2 yg still undr jajahan jepun n blom lg merdeka.siblings ayah ad 4 org,2 laki,2 pmpn.ayh ank ke-3,n d one n only yg smbg blaja samapi U.klu ktorg ngadu mls nk g skul ke,jaoh la,xde bas la,ayh slalu cite camne dia kena kayuh beskal sampai 10 km,trn nek bkt lg,kn plak kuar umah sblm sbh smata2 nk sampai skul sblm monin' asmbly.1 thing abt ayah is,he nvr addres his own father as abah ke,walid ke watsoever,tapi ayah pggl aki(atuk) kami,ayah andak.bl ktorg tny nape,dia kt it's on of the wy he show his respect 2 his own father.n ayah pggl uweh(nenek) kami,Nyang.cam org baba pggl mak dorg,Nya Nya.tp kami xtaw la klu uweh 2 baba ke x,tp yg km taw she's a chinese.ad 1 gamba dia kami smpt tgk ms kecik dl,dia mang cantik...... sgt,aki pn encem,smart cam malay warrior g2.



pas abis skul mngh,ayah dpt smbg blaja kat UKM,tym 2 UKM br bk,kira ayah mang pure pny 1st batch stdn la.ayah amik kos Usuluddin(klu xslh kami la),n ms konvo,ayah sorg je pake shades avatar ms nk amik ijazah,bila ktorg tny "nape ayah pakai shade?cikgu xmare ke?"(bdk2 tny),ayah mesti ckp,"t sng la ank2 ayh nk cam ayh",hehe,future minded btol...



pas abis blaja,baru ayah kawen ngan ibu.klu slh kami ms ayah kawen,umur ayah dlm 28 o 29 cam 2 la,tapi ibu muda,19 thn baru....org dolu2 dating tmpt bese jek,plng grand pn kat zoo,2 pn bwk member,kira dble dating la.family ibu memula xtime ayah coz ayah org pahang,kami xtaw la pe ibu bilang sama dia pny family sampi diorg bley time ayah.kami rasa dorg jmp kat kl la,coz ibu mang dari kecik duk kat kl(coz she nvr stay with her real mother,she was raised by her aunt n grdmthr.)pas 2,ayh dpt keja jd lect kat MPI(maktab perguruan islam),n ms stay kat kl 2,along,angah ngan mat lahir.3-3 lahir kat hsptl assunta,3-3 msk tadika raihan.pas mat lahir,ayah dpt plak twrn jd pnlg knn skul.disinilah bermulanya k'hdpn kuarga salehudin sbgi org nomad.mn xnye,stay kat 1 skul 2-3 taun,pas 2 kena plak pndh kat tmpt len.klu dkt2 xpe,ni kena cross 2 3 negri br sampe.60 hari lps kami lahir,ktorg skali lg kn pndh ke negri bwh bayu,coz ayh nek pgkt as pengetua.lama gak r ktorg stay sn,dlm 5 6 taun cam 2,abg2 n akak2 kami sume xreti ckp mlayu bese,ateh,udoh b'gaul ngan org sbh24 jm.lm gak br dorg bley ckp bese.



ayah is a person who will do anytg n avtg 4 his family.i wld say,xpenah skali pn kami rs kecewa ngan ayah,mang sometimes km xbley tima kptsn dia,bt pe yg dia wat 2 sbnr nya btl.wen it comes 2 religious stuff,ayh mang strict,tp klu ajk main, lg gila dr ktorg.hobi ayh sbnr nya nyanyi,sm la ngan ibu,kengkadang 2 bley gdh plak 2-2 org 2,sbb slh lrk la,pitching lari,(klu tym 2 ad rncgn jgn lp lirik,msk kn jek ayh ngan ibu dlm 2).antr gr8 stuff abt ayah is,he alwys show his luv 2 his children,dlm diary ayh,sume buzday ank ayh tls,buzday ibu,anvrsry dorg.kiranya ayh xpenah lp nk smbt buzday ank2 dia.ayah is a romantic guy 2,dia slalu buat2 lupa buzdy ibu,bl ibu tny igt xbuzday dia,ayh mesti buat2 lupa,bg mcm2 alsn la konon nya,pas 2 bila tgh mlm,bl ktorg sume dh tido(tido ke?pdhl sumenye ngendap ayah ngan ibu,hehe..),br ayh bg prsent kat ibu.kengkadg 2 ayah buat2 la suh ibu tmn kn dia g bl brng,tp jgn bwk ktorg(eleh,alsn,nk dating ckp je la).ad 1 set diary yg ayah sediakan tuk ktorg,stiap sorg ad diary msng2,kat dlm 2 la ayh tls avtg abt ktorg,cam bila andak mula jln,1st dy awin msk skul,kira cam life journey ktorg la.n wen it comes 2 my buzday,prsnt ayh simple jek,he juz bought me a box of choc,pandan layer o blueberry cake,n den ktorg akn smbt sm2.i wld say,he will give me choc 4 av gud thing that i've done,cam dpt mrkh bek,dh khatam quran,even klu kami majuk ngan ayah pn,he juz gave me choc,n avtg will be fine..

ayah,i juz want u 2 know smtg.i'll alwys luv u,n u r avtg 2 me.n if i could turn back time,i swear i'll do anytg 4 me even if it's mean tat i have 2 sacrifice my onw life.i love u so much,i won't let anyone 2 t8b ur place in my heart,coz no one can replace u.i can't resist it,i think abt u av sgle day,altho u had left be,but 2 b honest,i always wish tat wen i come home,i wld c u sitting on ur fvr8 couch n smiling n waiting 4 me 2 come home.i still can forgive myself,y shud i left u on ur death bed,n go back 2 my skul,i'm so sorry,forgive me daddy.....