walking away....

prob dtng m'curah mcm air,i can't juz walk away like tat,not even a minute of my life now tat i feel peace.i'm scared,i think abt it 24/7.i really wish,if i can turn back tym,i'll nvr done tat.actlly,i dunno whether i shud feel regret or not.ol tat i'm think at tat tym is 2 make u guys proud of me,n now,it's become burden for all of u guys.it's not tat i don't wanna ask 4 ur guyz help,its juz tat,kami segan...heh,sounds funny rite?mst org akn ckp,"ngan family sndr pn segan ke?",but d truth is,memang kami segan.i dunno y???maybe coz kami rs yg kami ni more give beban than t/jwb pd dorg.ye la,msng2 ad hal dorg yg sndr.haih.........i h8 myself so much now.......

what shud i do......

entah la,sometimes 2 kami rasa cam nk hilang kn diri neh wat slama-lama nya,i mean lari dari family ngan kwn2, n go 2 different places n start a new lives there.so tat bl dorg sdr tntg k'hilangan kami,br la kami attack dorg 1 by 1,muahahah.........
ha.....bl kami rapat ngan member2,family kami bising,dorg kata kami suka m'blakang kn dorg,tp bl kami try nk share mslh ngan dorg,buat pandg enteng plak,pe cer??? kami sdr,kami neh juz sbgi beban jek tuk korg,sumpah dowh,klu kami neh jutawan,i don't need u guys,korg bley smpn la duit korg tuh bwh bantal ke,dlm tilam ke,kami xkn kaco lgsg!!!!!!!eish....geram nya........
sometimes gak,kami nk jek hurt myself sampai kami hlng ingatan so tat i won't remember any prob tat i have,...ha.....tapi sume 2 kami bley byngkn je la.....coz i'm still waras lg.blom gila lagi........argh!!!!!!!!!!!!!byk nya problem!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

banjir@bah@ayaq nek...

yesterday,i gain 1 more experience hare in kachi,banjir yg agak teruk gak la,n diz iz my story.....

kami ad xm smlm kat DTSO kol 2:30pm,*exam*.....dh siap sume,kami kuar awl coz nk g gym,dh lm xg dym rs sngl2 plak bdn.klu ikut kn mang smlm hari cerah jek,tp once kami kuar dr DTSO,mula2 cam raining c&d jek,ms 2 ml la rs cam mls nk g gym,tp hati rs nk g gak.*walking 2 sport cntr*.....smpi sn,tkr bj,*gym time!!*ms kat dlm 2 mang dh dgr gak ujan agk lbt nk mampos, so kami kuar awl la,slalu nya kami akn stay for 1 1/2 hour,tp smlm ramai sgt org,xsyok plak,bek kuar awl,lgpn tkt xde bas..*bathing*....*walking 2 bus stop*....*waiting for bus*...arnd kol 6:15 bas sampai,bas feveret plak tuh,bas no 11,*moving*....tetiba bas brenti,tgk jem pnjg.......gila,ujan plak dh stat lbt,pak cik bas ckp, "xpa,sat ja ni,sat g bley la lalu" fuh.....lega sket dgr nye,*waiting*........adus,dh kol 7 lbey neh,keta dpn xgerak2 gak.pak cik bas pn kami tgk dh cam cuak2 sket, "dulu sat ja,15 mnt,pas 2 bley jln,xtaw la napa lmbt sgt kali ni".adus pak cik neh,td dia yg konpiden sgt2,skunk dia plak yg cuak...pak cik tny sape2 yg nk g tgk air g la trn,niat mang nk trn,tp d'sbb kn malas+letih,i juz stay indide d bus,bek kami dgr lagu 2pm lg bez,~listen to my heartbeat,it's beating for you~...hm...heaven jap....
Back 2 my story,skali pak cik UK dtng bg info,dia kt mang xbley nk lalu lgsg,air deras gila,pas 2 ad kayu balak t'sadai tgh jln.adus....pak cik suh ktorg nek bas dpn,bas no 10,*changing bus*,coz UK sarankan sume kndraan U-turn blk.nk xnk,uncle bas no 10 neh pn u-turn la blk,stop kat cafe utama smntr nk tggu air surut,*waiting*.........adus,dh kol 8lbey,xde tnd2 gak air nk surut,nk balik!!!!!skali uncle gtaw, "adik,ad kwn2 x yg ddk kat dlm,kachi mang xbley p la,depa sekat jalan,ayaq xmau surut lagi,klu ad kwn bgtaw la depa,tumpang tidoq blk depa mlm ni",xnk!!!i want my room,my bed,my chansung(my lappy),my big bang(poster),my darling (my cutey yellow pillow)!!!!!adus.....nk tido blek sape neh?Abg Encem?Rabi?Jay Chou?adus.....byk sgt plhn...oh ya,amal,nyah,jue ngan mas ad kat dlm,*sending message*la...xbls la plak,uncle bas dh msk dlm blk,skali he got a call from his friend saying tat air dh stat surut,but still laju lg,kayu blk 2 pn dorg dh alih ke tepi.ktorg (bkn kami la,ad la some indian girl yg duk kat seat dpn) pujuk uncle lalu gak kat air 2,yelah,masing2 nk blk blek sndr,huhu..tym ni la kami rs sayunk kat blek kami 2....mula2 uncle 2 cam xnk,tp dia pikir blk,sian kat ktorg,dia pn trs kan gak,ktorg yg kat dlm bas 2 sume b'debar2 sblm sampai kat bridge,everyone hopes that we all can go thru,sampai je kat bridge,UK still ttp jln,uncle kawtim jap ngan UK,dorg kasi lps,pak cik Uk tny uncle brani lalu x? "brani,depa ni ad skali,sat g klu hanyut sama2 la" chet,bley buat lwk plak uncle neh,slowly,bas lalu kat bridge 2,air mang deras gila,kayu balak 2 besaq nak mampoih!jaln pn bley t'hakis,siap lampu jln nk tumbg,byngkan la pny kuatnya air 2,tiba2,kami nmpk leng chai!!!!awh~~~~~encemnya....~~~~*fainting*.....ehem,back 2 my story,slow2 uncle bwk bas n WE MADE IT!!!!fuh rs mang lega tahap wonderpets bl la dpt lepas banjir 2,tapi keta ngan motor dorg xkasi lalu coz mang bhy lg.sampai je blk,trus kami cite kn p'ngalamn indah neh kat rumet kami,dia pn ngan khusyuk nya m'dgr cite kami......ah....lega gila dpt blk blek,i love kachi!!!

what cud it be..???

i donno y,but l8ly i've been havin' bad dream,i dream tat my mom is sick (again), my sis became handicapped, n we only have RM 22.70 in our bank account.i dunno maybe it's a sign or juz coz i'm too tired.i can't describe how tired i m.kerja x putus2,lps 1-1.bek fizikal o mental,2-2 penat.think of takin' a br8,but then i'll b thinkin' abt my work all dy long. *sigh*........ah~~~~~ i want Baskin Robbins~~~
bila kita dh penat cam nie, fosho kita akn miss sum1,for me,i miss my dad and nuhar.NUHAR,i'm so sorry 2 tell u diz,i really can't let u go, now matter wat happen, ur still d one tat i want.i don't care abt wat others will say,even my sister had start 2 accept me 4 who i m.ain't tat a good thing? i really want u 2 come back,let me hear ur voice.......

let me hear your voice,

if we become honest surely,

we'll b able 2 understand each other,

please open ur heart,

let me hear your voice,

the path we have come is,for us, deffinetly,

an important step 2 d future,

let me hear your voice,

if we become more kind,

we'll be able to love each other,

don't avert your eyes,

let's get over those entwined anxieties and loneliness,

the feeling of this moment become our bond...

Big Bang- Koe Wo Kikasete

i really want to hear ur voice again............... 4 daddy,u'll always b my 1 n only,there's no 1 tat i cn compare u to.

and now,i have 2 prepare 4 my final n do preperation b4 goin' 2 taiwan.ha~~~~~~

lurve u daddy....

(again, i rite a post abt nuhar,actly i want 2 write abt how tired i m,ntah camne bley tkluar nm nuhar plak,gomenneh!!)